When Sex Is the Issue and When Sex Is the Symptom
Sexual matters and sexuality are always present in the consultation room, particularly if you practice from a psychodynamic (insight-oriented) framework. Whether the patient seeks help specifically for sexual problems, for other relationship issues, or for anxiety or depression, sexuality is omnipresent. And yet, many individuals and couples never discuss and are never asked by their therapist about sex or their […]
Ageism and Sex Among Older Adults
Key points Ageism is trending now and will likely be the last of the “isms” to end Sex is common among adults over age 75. Isms are based in fear of what will be taken or what is perceived as already taken. We face many “isms” in society. Sexism and racism, to name a couple, have […]
Authenticity in Sexual Expression and Communication
Authenticity connects us to a state of purpose, an internal imperative with boundless capability. It enables and reflects the courage to pursue and express our emotional truth with all its pain, passion, and brutality without a motivation to harm. Authenticity is a space of honesty, integrity, the desire for creativity, and responsibility for one’s actions. It is one’s truth […]
Has Porn Prompted a Return to Relationships?
Key points Heavy reliance on porn is a risk factor for erectile dysfunction, some studies find. Technology may seduce, but we are human beings who require physical touch. Men seeking help for overconsumption of porn has become less stigmatized, guilt-ridden, or shameful. There is little agreement among researchers, sex therapists, and physicians that watching a […]
Pleasure and Joy: Trusting in a Culture Opposed to Play
Key points Some people struggle for a lifetime to find a sense of wonder and joy. Our culture can trick us into thinking that play and freedom come through external means. The “freedom” we give ourselves often stretches only as far as what fits the culture’s definition of acceptable. Can you remember being curious as […]
When Sex Is Used for Power and Politics
Key points “Sex sells” can apply to politics as well as politicians seeking to secure votes. Topics about sex and sexual behavior are easy to whip up peoples’ fears and fascination. Making laws about sex ultimately come from peoples’ beliefs, not the Constitution. The adage “sex sells” is not lost on policymakers, lobbyists, power moguls, […]
Personal Responsibility in an Age of Projection and Quick Fixes
Key points Symptoms are concrete evidence of a person’s unconscious attempt to resolve an internal psychological conflict. Blaming COVID, TikTok, and the accessibility to porn as causative of symptom-based disorders is an easy out. Returning to long-term psychodynamic therapy makes sense in an age of blaming and quick-fix strategies. Mental health issues are a parallel […]
A Non-Binary Frame of Gender and Sexuality
Key points Social politics and current norms maintain an overarching reach into the public voices of people. The issue over what constitutes dominance versus submissiveness in personality and sexual behavior has been a gender-based hotbed topic. Binary gender thinking may be a defense, but lack of categorization may lose its intent. The human mind is […]
Identity Versus Label: Nonbinary and They
Key points Do gender identities such as “They/Them” improve general understanding of gender? The continuum between heterosexuality and homosexuality no longer suffices. If gender identity is an internal state, why is it necessary that everyone else gets it? We have come far from understanding sexuality solely from a continuum of heterosexuality to homosexuality. It took a long […]
What’s Love Got to Do With It?
Key points Covid-19 has been a catalyst to relational awakening and change. Couples are deciding what matters to them in their relationship and what to do about it. Returning to love in relationships may be one silver lining gleaned from Covid-19. COVID brought psychological challenges and subsequent awakening to many individuals; the quality of intimate […]