Female Sexuality: Why It Is Everyone’s Business
I recently received this comment on my Psychology Today blog. I decided to write a reply to the writer of the comment, whose name I shall withhold. The commenter sent the following: “You should do an article on abortion. The number one leading cause of death in America. Almost 60 million performed since 1973.. The […]
Age of COVID: Health, Sensibility, and Rationalization
Ultimately, who we are is shaped by what we know and by our psychology. I’ve seen most people for psychotherapy face-to-face at a 10-12-foot distance in Uptown Charlotte, NC, since Governor Cooper imposed lockdown phases. Other sessions in NC are online. Flying from NC to a NY practice is not possible since Governor Cuomo prohibited travel of […]
Women and Sex: Shame vs. Expression
Women and men face a conundrum of mixed messages about sex while living in a culture that exploits sex and women on the one hand and encourages freedom of expression on the other. As a psychodynamic psychotherapist, I believe that unconscious processes matter a great deal in understanding human motivation. And to a female sex therapist, American culture […]
Unconscious Communication in the Early Stage of Relationships
Most of the communication conveyed in the early part of a relationship is subtle, often indirect. We begin communicating our relational and sexual fears, wishes, desires, and expectations from the moment we meet a potential partner on a date or the moment we respond to a message sent on a dating website. Often we are unaware of […]
Of Porn and Toilet Paper: Control in the Age of Coronavirus
People worldwide are afraid and feel out of control as coronavirus spreads. Natural inclinations in the face of anxiety are to fight or flee to combat the threat and ward off helplessness and powerlessness. Sigmund Freud, the founder of psychoanalysis, made invaluable contributions regarding the function and purpose of anxiety, a manifestation of threat or fear of sexual and aggressive forces (Drives) inherent in humankind. […]
Women in Midlife With Eating Disorders
An estimated 13 percent of women over 50 engage in eating disorder behaviors. According to DSM-5 criteria, around 3.5 percent of older (over 40) women and around 1–2 percent of older men have diagnosable conditions (Mangweth-Matzeka). Triggers for midlife onset are often related to issues that come with aging, loss, menopause, and dissatisfaction with choices made in life and love. Middle age is also […]
BDSM: What Is Healthy and What Is Pathological?
BDSM refers to sexual practices that incorporate bondage, domination, and sadomasochism. Many people have fantasies that involve some degree of BDSM or have engaged in some form of BDSM practice. But BDSM exists on a continuum. Fantasies are different from practices, and practices do not necessarily constitute a lifestyle. Often those who experiment, participate occasionally, or incorporate BDSM […]
Sexual Performance Problems
Sex is routinely a topic of intrigue, fraught with layers of fantasy, eroticism, and curiosity. It also remains a taboo subject matter, the forbidden fruit. Thinking, talking and engaging in sex often stirs anxiety. Sexual dysfunction and issues of physical intimacy, including dissatisfaction, boredom, and lack of communication, are reasons why couples enter sex therapy. Resolution of the problems is […]
Sexual Communication Through Eating Disorders
There are many reasons why people turn toward an eating disorder: They may use it to cope, escape, avoid, serve as a proxy and become their emotional and relational voice. An eating disorder can be a substitute for and representation of sexual appetite, and that has implications for sexual communication in general. Sexual Representation of Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia […]
Talking About Sex with Your Children: Who Is Uncomfortable?
A friend recounted a story about her then eight-year-old daughter who from the back seat of the car blurted out, “Mommy, what’s an orgasm?” My friend paused in disbelief, but gave some thought to the situation and replied with a question, “What do you think an orgasm means?” Her daughter responded that her teacher drew a […]